Grief is a powerful emotion, and when it strikes close to home, knowing how to support a grieving relative can be a delicate task. While you cannot take the pain away, your compassionate support and words of encouragement during this trying time can make a significant difference in helping them navigate and heal from this journey of grief. Let us explore several practical ways to lend a helping hand and demonstrate that you care deeply for your relative.
1. Provide a listening ear
Sometimes, the simple act of lending a listening ear can make a world of difference. During or after the funeral service, it is easy for your relative to be overwhelmed with grief as they learn to cope with the passing of their loved one.
On such occasions, they may wish to get their feelings off their chest, and talking or reminiscing about the departed may be their way of processing their emotions. Being there for your relatives and listening to them not only demonstrates that you care about them. It also ensures they feel heard and validated.
Occasionally, the conversation may get emotional or take a heavy toll on your relative. However, avoid diverting the conversation or attempting to minimise their pain. Doing so may cause them to feel like they cannot be honest with you. Instead, foster an atmosphere of empathy and understanding to encourage them to share their memories and frustration without fear of judgment.
2. Understand how to talk to someone who is grieving
When you see your relative feeling distraught during the funeral service, your natural response may be to offer some comforting words to ease their grief. However, phrases such as “They are in a better place now” or “They lived a long life” can cause you to come across as callous. Instead, consider words of consolation like “I am sorry for your loss” and “I am here to help in any way I can”.
However, if you are unsure of what to say, the best option may be to sit in silence with your relative and offer eye contact, a squeeze of the hand, or a reassuring hug. Usually, your company is all the solace and comfort they need at this moment. Avoid pressing your grieving relative if they do not feel like talking.
3. Reach out and offer practical assistance
Grieving individuals often find it challenging to focus on daily tasks. Nevertheless, many find it difficult to ask for help as they fear being a burden to others. Even if you do offer your assistance, they may be reluctant to reach out. So, instead of asking how you can help, take the initiative by addressing specific needs.
It can be something as simple as buying groceries, helping with the housework, or ensuring your relative has eaten a proper meal. Alternatively, you can take over the responsibility of planning the funeral service. With various factors to consider, planning a memorial can get complicated. Without this distraction, your relative can have ample time and space to grieve properly.
4. Provide ongoing support
Grief does not follow a timeline, and the pain of bereavement may never completely heal. Therefore, be sensitive to the fact that life may never feel the same for your relative. While they may learn to accept their loss, the sadness may never go away.
So, make the effort to stay in touch and continue your support over the long haul. In fact, your assistance and words of encouragement may be more valuable and necessary than ever once the funeral service is over and the initial shock of the loss dissipates.
Remember, grief is a unique experience, differing from individual to individual. While your role is not to fix the pain, standing beside your relative and offering solace and understanding during their journey toward healing can help significantly. If you still have doubts, the best thing you can do is communicate your intentions and try to keep things simple. At the end of the day, it is the thought that counts.
If you are struggling to cope with the demands of planning a funeral service on your relative’s behalf, please seek assistance from a funeral service provider in Singapore. Our experienced funeral directors at Excellence Funeral Services can ease your burden, allowing you to focus on helping your relative cope with the passing of their loved one. Contact us today to enquire about our funeral service packages.
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